Taking a stand against the depressed stance

Soulful Sunday

~This is my “depressed stance”.  When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand.  The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better.  If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve go to stand like this.   – Charlie Brown~

Since leaving my job of nearly three years, and becoming a stay at home wife and mother again, I've used only one full tank of gas, and it's been three months.  I've not left the house for anything that wasn't dire.  There has been the rare occasion when I've gotten out for Church or for a family get together that only lasted a few short hours, but each time I opted to ride with my mother or my husband.

I've not been out to the library (Lord knows I need to go there, with this cash of over due books I've got), the book store, the park...  I've not gotten coffee or spent an evening with the girls...

The longer I spend in the house with only the kids and my husband, and Mom who stops in every couple of days (Susie visits a couple times a week, also), the more I want to board up the windows and close out the rest of the world for good.  I've been perfectly happy to give my husband a short list of groceries that we need, and allow him to get them on his way home from work.

My point is:  I think I'm slightly depressed.  The last few days have been difficult on me, since my back would barely allow me to get out of bed to tend to my bowels, because I've not been able to get caught up on my house work.  The feeling of 'why bother' has dripped into the rest of my health, as well.  I don't get out and exercise, and I've just stopped taking my Metformin (before I could ever get it started up).  My doctor has retired, and he didn't even let me know (I had been in his office in February, and two wks. later I called to see why they had canx. my appointment but the answering service said he'd retired).

See that up there? /\  That is my "Oh, why me?!!" moment.  It's the same one I've been having since mid February.  After a month and a half, I'm ready to stop having a pitty party for myself.  It takes away from my time and energy, so that I've nothing left for my kids, husband, home, or self...  There isn't even anything left for God.

You can do this with me.  I'm deciding that I'm not going to allow myself to feel depressed any more.  Spring is here, I've two beautiful children, a husband who loves me, a God who hasn't forgotten me, and a home that I can turn into a sanctuary.  I've the capability to get out and get some exercise, which is what I'm going to start doing (maybe a little walking will help with my back problems).

I'm going to organize my home, be nicer to my husband, and pay better attention to my children.  (The saying "If Mamma ain't happy, no body's happy," really is true.)

I'm going to do all this, and start feeling better about me.  And I'm doing it all because I've DECIDED to. I'm not waiting for the feeling to just come!  I've been doing that, and the only thing I've been feeling is worse.  Now, it's time to MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Let's Do This,

V.